More a local stupid ruling, but here goes. I wanted to have candles in my wedding but the elders decided that would represent a pagan practice. Uh, candles in a place of worship. When I asked how the first century Christians held services indoors before the discovery of electricity and the light bulb, well, they didn't have an answer. Go figure. Needless to say, no candles were allowed.
Steve Lowry
JoinedPosts by Steve Lowry
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What Is The Stupidest Rule You've Encountered As a Witness?
by minimus inone rule that i never could understand is that if you were studying with an unbelieving husband, you could associate with him, even as couples, but if a person was considered a "weak" witness, it was best to avoid any association until that person changed......what dumb rule or belief comes to your mind??
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To Joysome
by Steve Lowry in"i've been on this site for about a week now.
i'm here because i am confused but honestly the more i come to this site the more bogus i feel that it is.
it actually makes me believe in the truth even more it really does".
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Steve Lowry
Oh, don't worry, she?s seen this thread alright.
(Sorry for the bump)
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Similarities between Best Buy (USA) and WTS
by dustyb ini used to work at best buy (an electronics retailer in the usa) and i thought about it today.
not so much working there, but how you got paid.
used to if you were an electronic salesman at bby you got paid on commission, but in 1996 the policy changed.
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Steve Lowry
Ok, when I saw the topic of this thread I wondered how in the heck is a Best Buy like a Watchtower Society? But after reading your analogy, I can easily see the comparison. Yes, the whole thing I'm sure started out as a way to keep from losing money (for the WTBS and BB) but I'm also quite sure that shortly after, both institutions realized the profits that stood to be made. I guess necessity IS the mother of invention.
Your observation is quite accurate.
I do have one question though. Why in blazes are you STIL going to the K. Hall?
Steve
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Ever give a ridiculous 'talk'?
by Steve Lowry inone day at the hall when i was about fifteen i guess, i looked at the talk schedule to see my name posted next to my next talk.
i hated giving a talk.
it made sick to my stomach before i would go 'on'.
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Steve Lowry
"... and one day, I gave the instruction talk with my zipper accidently down ..."
Sounds like YOU should have given MY talk! (LOL)
Steve
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Ever give a ridiculous 'talk'?
by Steve Lowry inone day at the hall when i was about fifteen i guess, i looked at the talk schedule to see my name posted next to my next talk.
i hated giving a talk.
it made sick to my stomach before i would go 'on'.
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Steve Lowry
One day at the Hall when I was about fifteen I guess, I looked at the talk schedule to see my name posted next to my next talk. I hated giving a talk. It made sick to my stomach before I would go 'on'. But I wanted to be a good little JW and do my part so I joined the Ministry School. Well anyway, I'm standing there looking at my name and then I see the subject matter of my pre-selected talk. Ya ready? Masturbation! Yep. I couldn't fking believe it. We NEVER talked about sex in my house. It was mucho taboo! And now I'm gonna have to stand up there on the stage in front of everyone I know (including my mother) and talk about chicken chokin'? Just beautiful. Sheeeeeit. Well, I read the prescribed outline and it was obvious that the Society?s position was way against any ?member pullin?. (There?s a surprise.) Were they kidding giving that talk to a fifteen-year-old?
Well, the night came (so to speak) and I got up there and did it like a man! (er-um) You shoulda heard the silence fall when I announced, "Tonight, we?re gonna talk about masturbation." You could say I had matters in hand. (Smile) After all I WAS an expert on the subject! It was ridiculous; I had to stand up there and denounce a practice that I (and most probably everyone one else who was there) was doing on a regular basis. It was weird.
All kidding aside when I think about this particular event, it really sums up just how insensitive and even cruel this stupid religion can be. To even suggest to anyone that it?s a sin to masturbate and instill all that unnecessary guilt into people was way bad enough. But to expect a fifteen-year-old kid to give such at talk on such a sensitive issue is just fking wrong. Tell ya what though. It sure taught me how to be a hypocrite. Which of course was much needed training for my JW evolvement. Thank you Watchtower Society for training me how to recognize a hypocrite when I see one. Due to my JW "training", to this day I am ever on the watch to make sure I don?t fall into hypocrisy of any type.
Any one else have any such memories?
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The "Demons" that some of us actually face.....
by simwitness ina couple of days ago a new poster started a thread asking for help, that simple post had this to say:.
i'm so scared!
i need help and support.
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Steve Lowry
" . . . no matter how good I am at something, it is hard for me to take the recognition... I work hard, sometimes to the amazement of my peers, but when it comes to the accolades, I shy away. And then, when the accolades that are due me don't show up, I just take it as a matter of course, and remind myself that I shouldn't be "pridefull". All the while wondering "what must I do to be recognized". When people, such as my boss, tell me that I am "respected by my peers" and an "extra-ordinary" employee, I find it nigh impossible to believe, even though I know that I am."
Actually I think this kind of personal frustration is a whole lot more common than you may realize. I was also raised a JW (and have been out for twenty-five years) I also feel the same way about the things you related in the aforementioned paragraph. Um, I don't really think it?s necessarily a JW issue though. I think maybe it?s just a common personality trait that has possibly been exacerbated by the Watchtower Society. IMHO
Steve
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Were You Afraid of Dying at Armageddon?
by minimus inone thing jehovah's witnesses do is they try to make their adherents feel afraid.
fear is a major reason to go to meetings, out in service, personal study, etc.
jws are always talking about the great tribulation and armageddon.
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Steve Lowry
Several years ago back in the early eighties I was at church one Sunday morning and I went out for a break during the service. I looked up at the sky to see a number of vapor trails, like what might be left behind some Triton missiles. For a few moments I thought that maybe this was it, nuclear holocaust and here I was in a church. I had a sense of doom come over me cuz I was in the "wrong" place and that if this were Armageddon, then I was in trouble. Well, I stood there for several minutes only to discover they were military jet vapor trails and my fears relieved. I recognized the silliness of my concerns and vowed to never again allow nonsensical JW induced fear to override my common sense again. And I never have.
I have never shared that embarrassing story with anyone. It seems so ridiculous to me now to have allowed myself to get worried like I did that morning, but this is the kind of mind control that can linger in the mind of the former JW until it is purged out.
I got your Armageddon, right here baby! LOL
Steve
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Well, I've done it..........
by wannaexit ini have successfully deprogrammed my first dub.. my very good friend has finally seen the light.
i am so happy that the shackles have come off.
she is in the process of reading coc and has stopped going to meetings.. i have made my first apostate disciple.. wannaexit
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Steve Lowry
How many apostates does it take to change a JW? Only one, but the JW has to WANT to change. Smile
Steve
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To Joysome
by Steve Lowry in"i've been on this site for about a week now.
i'm here because i am confused but honestly the more i come to this site the more bogus i feel that it is.
it actually makes me believe in the truth even more it really does".
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Steve Lowry
"I've been on this site for about a week now. I'm here because I am confused but honestly the more I come to this site the more bogus I feel that it is. It actually makes me believe in the TRUTH even more it really does". Joysome,
It sounds like you?re experiencing the approach/avoidance syndrome. Illustrated nicely by the little boy who wants to go into the water at the beach. He puts in a toe and its cold so he pulls back. But he still wants to go into the water. So, he puts in a foot and it?s really cold and he again pulls back. This process goes on until he either jumps in all together or he forgets the whole thing cuz its either not what he thinks he wants or he is just too afraid to continue.
This is very typical for one who is considering taking on a change in life. In your case it seems you may be questioning what you believe or perhaps more importantly what you have been taught to believe.
So, what is it that prompts you to say this site is "bogus" anyway? I?d like to know what you?re thinking. I?m not going to attack you in any way. Just be honest about what you?re feeling/thinking. If you don?t ask the hard questions, you won?t get the real answers.
"Like I said earlier I'm sorry that you guys ran into bad situations in the truth but when you run into bad situations in the world where are you going to go then?"
This is the easiest and yet most difficult answer to explain. Easy, because its so obvious to the one who can see clearly (objectively), and difficult for the one who can not. As a Jehovah?s Witness, you have been trained to believe you need to belong to a greater or larger group such as the Watchtower Society (ala the Truth) or you?re in error. You?re in the group and you?re right, or you?re not in the group and you?re wrong. So of course if you?re out of the group all that can happen to you out there (in the "world") is going to be "wrong" and you won?t have the group for support. Don?t focus on what can go wrong look for what can go right!
Contrary to what you have been taught and trained, you don?t need the Watchtower Society, it needs YOU. And THAT?S the Truth! The Watchtower Society would fold up and close its doors tomorrow without the well-intentioned good folks who are its followers. There?s a kind of symbiosis thing going on there between the organization and the follower. The follower gets the reinforcement and security of belonging to something greater and the organization gets the necessary replenishment it needs to thrive. Kinda like an ant colony. But are you an ant? Is that all what you want to be? Or do you want to experience more? Well, with freedom comes the responsibility of making good choices and the acknowledgment that YOU are in control of you life. And yes there are risks outside the colony, but there is also much to explore and much to experience. Make new friends, develop deep relationships with people who aren?t going to turn their backs on you if you question or challenge the system. Continue you quest for God. God isn?t dependent on the Watchtower Society to be in your life. That?s a lie perpetrated by such groups to keep the rank and file in line. You?re going to discover just how loving God is once you put aside the restraints you have been trained to place on Him. Certainly some former JW?s choose to abandon their belief in God (that?s their path) but that doesn?t mean you have to. I left the Watchtower Society twenty-five years ago and rediscovered God shortly they?re after. God?s love for you isn?t contingent on you being associated with the Watchtower Organization. But you?re going to have to risk moving out farther away from the colony to find that out. How brave are you Joysome?
Steve
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I knew I couldnt avoid them forever... Hi there, new here
by Butterfliez inwhew*....i finally registered, and guess what?!
it wasnt as hard as i thought it would be lol.
i've been lurking here, quietly and observing the board for about 2 years now.
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Steve Lowry
Hi Buterfliez,
Have you ever done a worst case scenario in your mind? For instance, "What?s the worst thing that could happen if . . .". Very often if you try and imagine the worst thing that could happen, given a particular event or decision or circumsatnce, etc., you discover that the final ?worst? thing really isn?t all that bad in the end. In fact it can open up new possibilities. Here?s an example to help you picture what I mean:
I hate my present job, so what?s the worst thing that could happen if I decide not to go to work today?
I could get in trouble.
What?s that worst thing that could happen if I get in trouble at work?
I could get fired.
What?s the worst thing that could happen if I get fired?
I?d have to find another job.
In this scenario it resolves nicely as it shows giving you an opportunity to find another place to work that you might like better than your old job! It doesn?t always pan out so tidy, but it can illuminate other possibilities you hadn?t considered. I?m forty-eight years old and I have learned that very often in life, the outcomes of events we fear don?t actually turnout out exactly the way we worry that they will anyway.
As for your dilemma, as long as you know in your heart that the Watchtower Society and the JW religion is wrong and you have divorced yourself from it psychologically and emotionally, then everything else is secondary. The biggest pitfall for the former JW, is not really knowing where he or she stands regarding their former religion. Once they finally get this part of the puzzle resolved within them, then everything else is just circumstance. So meet with the elders, or tell them what they can do with their meeting. Avoid them or confront them. Be overt about your decision or covert. But YOU decide. You stay in control, not them. Never forget that. It?s all about control, and they want to be in charge over you. That?s the cult mentality.
I gotta admit I like the suggestion in this thread about you promising the JW elders you?ll have legal counsel at your meeting. I don?t know if that will make a difference in the total outcome, but this is the kind of fun you can have with this situation. I actually had a ball when my elder?s meeting happened. These two pompous pious morons came out to my house unannounced. I had no idea about ?judicial meetings? and all that, but I soon understood this was a ?you?re in or out? meeting. So I told them what I really thought about their religion and them personally and I got up a walked out of the room. I didn?t even show them the courtesy of walking them out. But I was on my own at that time and I could do such things without any fear of reprisal. Your situation is a little different.
I?m sure you realize there will be risks involved in being open about your true feelings. And if you do decide to be forthright and open, it could indeed create difficulties for you at home. Your wise for your years but you are still a minor and somewhat dependent on your (JW) family at this present time. And since you were baptized there is a high probability you will experience some relationship difficulties with your JW family members. Never underestimate the mind control of a religious cultic group such as the Watchtower Organization and the power it has over the week minded. I do have to admit that in talking with hundreds of former JW?s over ten year?s time, there is almost always some kind of family breakdown when a JW family member leaves the Watchtower. It?s practically inevitable. But what are your choices? You?ve got to be true to who you are, first. And you?ve got to be willing to make the sacrifices of being who you are regardless of the consequences. There?s nothing like the feeling of knowing who you are in this world. There?s real power in knowing who you are and what you believe in.
Be patient and keep in mind your current limitations. In time you will be in charge of your own life.
Steve